Ah, the (real) new year. The possibilities are endless with a blank, clean slate. One could recreate themselves in a variety of ways-new body, new attitude, new habits, new hobby, new skill, no f*ckboys, etc. The recreation of ourselves is always tempting, and to idolize who our new selves can be brings about refreshed hope and optimism. But what happens when we reach the point where we like ourselves as we are? Crazy concept, I know. But there has to be some point where we say “this is me, this is who I am. I can make some changes but I’ve worked hard to become this person and guess what? I LIKE WHO I AM. TAKE THAT CONSUMERISM.
Now, this is not to say we should be stubborn and stagnant. There are always areas for growth, and we, as human beings, should remain curious and engage in and expand upon what interests us. If there are things we want to work on, DO IT. Don’t wait for the new year to tell you to. But since we are here at the start of 2018, it’s a nice way to measure a year since you are going with the calendar. However, what has got me to thinking is a “new, reinvented” self is not necessary every year. There are lots of good existing traits that should not be forgotten, but rather carried over and built upon. You can like who you are-you don’t need my permission but if you’re struggling with it, PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF. Or if there are things you want to change, LOVE YOURSELF TO CHANGE THEM FOR YOU.
Rather than saying “new”, is better a more appropriate term? I think complementing the self seems best. Because your essence isn’t going to change-there are things that make you, and me, uniquely us. And who are we to completely abandon those selves for something new? If someone really has some habits to kill, well then, that’s probably a good thing to work on, and should be done so immediately. Examples include not flaking out, not stealing or harming others, and not being so (passive-)aggressive toward everyone. Using words rather than likes to communicate would also be a good one here.
There are definitely years where we experience more growth and change than others. But these tend to happen quietly overtime, and sometimes unintentionally. Events can happen that put things into perspective for us. For example, in 2016 I was fortunate to be able to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. The time following this allowed for lots of reflecting and prioritizing what was important to me, which was noticed by my close friends. This experience complemented my being. I wasn’t a “new” version of Sara. I potentially am “better” for it, but what it really got me was the opportunity to display more the honest, whole me. The real me? One thing I know I need to work on is being more proactive, rather than sitting back and letting things happen. Strategically proactive-knowing when its good to go and when its better to sit back. The Libra in me needs a balance.
Finding things that complement your entire being may take some time. They should allow you to experience some change, but it doesn’t need to completely reinvent your entire person. I suppose some people make bigger habit changes, but I think this is more of a testament to them accepting who they are, using the tools they’re discovering or eager to use in themselves, to display the whole real version of themselves. Sometimes we don’t discover our thing till later, which helps ties everything else together. It helps make everything “click”. There really is a journey to it-a series of trial and error, discipline and dedication, commitment to thyself. In Positive Psychology we took the VIA which is Values in Action. There are 24 values, and 5 of those are our “strengths” or core values. After that, there are those we have that are not quite strengths, but that we can build upon. So we would use our strengths to build upon our next level. You can find yours here.
For me, 2017 has helped me identify a lot of things about myself habit wise. Like how I react in certain situations, what are better ways to do things, etc. Now that I am equipped with this information, hopefully 2018 will allow me to put more in action. Therefore, I’m eager to develop a new approach with this knowledge about myself so that I’m functioning the best way I can. Not trying to overhaul my total being, just tweak it enough to have better outcomes. 2018-the year of action.
Blogging is my first “action”-doing something I keep saying I should do. I’m owning it. It’s an outlet for me, I like writing, and I believe we need some raw and real messages that are not echoing the sentiment of everyone, ever. But with that, I welcome you all to read as I work to complement myself. Spinsters everywhere are seeking the best versions of themselves-for them first. Sorry to all the dogs out there, but 2018 is the year of the spinster.
By me, for me. New year, same-ish (sassy as ever) me.
SpinsterSass 
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