Valentine’s Day: As Told By A Spinster

A word from your resident Spinster- 1. Hey Happy 2019. 2. I’ve been wanting to write a blog chronicling my day of spinsterhood for a while now. I was thinking of it being a ‘Spinster weekend’ sort of thing, but obviously procrastination and coulda shoulda woulda got the best of me, so it didn’t happen. In a quick summary, I’ve had some great weekends off. However, with today being a day where we divide ourselves into ‘in a relationship’ and ‘not in a relationship’ (I have not watched parks and rec so therefore do not feel as though I can embrace the ‘Galentines’ movements and if we are being honest its me everyday thanks for the  additional reminder), I figured I’d detail how I’ve spent my V-day. On a more meta-note, I spent today doing things by myself. A lot of it involved interacting with others, but none of it was ‘with someone.’ This isn’t a ‘What Every Spinster Should Do’ because the honest answer is do whatever the fuck you want. But if you want some ideas, or want to know how I spend my days, or want to feel better about how you spend your days, or want to relate read on.

This story really starts with Wednesday night after finishing up work at 8 and getting home a little after 9 (#commuting).

-Decide on dinner. Trick myself into thinking I’ll go out for pizza, but due to ATTEMPTING to not eat out, not wanting to eat a pizza and immediately fall asleep (sober thoughts), and knowing I”ll be spending way more money the following day, decide on making dinner in.

-Open up some packages from online shopping and immediately utilize purchased items post dinner. I ordered an eye mask (think bean bag in eye mask form) and matching neck/shoulder wrap (again longer/bigger bean bag with handles) for myself because standing all day and working in customer service causes muscle and head aches. After becoming addicted to massages (more on this here and later), I decided I would bring some elements of the massage home with me. This is one of them. I proceeded to microwave them both and lay down to be calm and prepare myself for an enjoyable day off.

-Somewhere in here I tried to start reading but decided I needed rest. Therefore proceeded to enjoy heat therapy.

~Valentine’s Day (also happened to be a day off from work)~

-Woke up on my own (thankfully tbh)

-Texted Dad to make sure that yet again he would be my Valentine (another VDay, another year with PGK as the OG Valentine)

-Called Mum-Lots of love to all da mumz everyday

-Finally selected an outfit. (Bean My Valentine-how much LL Bean can one girl wear. The limit does not exist)

-Drove to diner for breakfast. My apartment building, despite having a parking spot, requires us to move so they can snow plow. So I made good use of needing to move the car. Proceeded to have French Toast and be serenaded by 1950s love tunes.

-Therapy Appointment- DO. NOT. FEAR. THERAPY. Let me repeat that for the people in the back. DO. NOT. FEAR. THERAPY. My therapist probably looks at me like ‘you come here to discuss first world millenial problems that could easily be avoided by going on Instagram a liiiiiittle less’ but yet there I am. Its a form of expression (allowing a feeling to exit your body) and doing this in a safe place (and also here on zee blog) allows me to feel whole. Feeling whole is such a concept. Its so wonderful. I’m not totally there-will I ever be?- but doing work to get there also feels good. My therapist is also an Anthropologie fan with an office with exposed brick walls and now has twinkle lights and I believe I used these factors alone to decide I was in for the long run, but she also advises and listens well. Essentially therapy allows me to be me, and then feel ready to bring that me out into the world. I should blog more on this. But in this session one thing that my therapist did say was, she (therapist) read a blog written by a woman who utilized said blog to hold herself accountable to paying off her student loans. My therapist recommended that tactic to holding myself accountable to creating a healthy lifestyle. The thought process behind it seems effective and it would promote more writing-I was into it.

-Post Therapy stroll around town- This got dangerous because it became a game of ‘treat yoself.’ After therapy I enjoy walking around outside since I’m always inside for work. It was especially nice to do so today following the blizzard that hit the area yesterday. I first found a store nearby that sells Boho Bandannas-a type of headband I like. I also FINALLY joined the 21st century and bought a popsocket for my phone. I then went to a kitchen shop and got some potholders and dishtowels  since I seem to be lacking in both. I manage to dirty dish towels very quickly, so I can never have enough! I also found a tea kettle, since I’m not a huge fan of microwaving hot water to make tea. I had been looking for a yellow one, and finally found one! I was a little torn because the handle doesn’t connect to the spout, and I like when there is a button up top to open the spout to pour. But, I figured in the name of all things yellow, I’d manage. Happy to report it boils tea well. I then proceeded to go to a new bakery and bought a loaf of anadama bread and some vanilla bean macarons.

At this point it didn’t seem I could move my car back to my apartment, so I popped into a coffee shop for a bit. Then I had to make my massage appointment.

The judgmental cynical part of me is asking myself does my life look like that of a suburban housewife. The self loving part of me is saying slightly over the top but keep practicing self care.

–Massage appointment-As I said, a massage helps me stay on my feet for work. Its also an hour and a half away from any type of screen. My attention is not required and I do not have to speak unless its to confirm to the massage therapist they can continue to apply a firm pressure to my body. I don’t know much about  massage technique but I think my thought process is based off of Newton-every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So a good firm pressure means my body will be nice and loose.

-End up buying Dinner and Dessert- After my massage I figured I’d buy a slice of pie to have after dinner (which I hadn’t totally decided on). When I got to the bakery (second bakery of the day), I also saw they had chicken pot pies. Your girl LOVES a good chicken pot pie, and since this solved the dilemma of will the chicken I have in the freezer defrost for tonight, I went for it. So I bought dinner pie and dessert pie. I then finally drove home.

-I was in the mood to ‘cook creatively’  as well, so figured I’d hit up the local market to buy some additional vegetables to make. I also bought some cheese and crackers to have before dinner (fancy dinner for one-thank u, next), and some other random items.

-I finally made it home and made some tea with my new tea kettle. I also used this mug I bought that was handmade by a potter. It doesn’t have a handle, so at first it was a little too hot to hold and drink. I threw in some laundry, stared at my phone, and then realized I should try do some work I’d been putting off. I started said work for a few minutes until I realized what time it was and I should begin dinner.

-I cut vegetables and manage to snap the handle of the knife I was using. Thankfully nothing happened but I realized I should have bought the knives I was looking at in the kitchen store earlier. You know what they say, don’t use dull knives.

-I roasted vegetables. Wait. freeze. I first realized I had technically roasted vegetables on my own. Was there a certain technique? How hot should the oven be? Are there certain spices to use? Should certain vegetables be roasted? I do a very quick google search in which I skim approximately 1.5 recipes, decided I knew enough to continue, and proceeded to do so. I also tried to glaze the glaze the vegetables in addition to seasoning. I roasted for a little too long so the result was not ideal. Because I needed a hotter oven I figured I’d do the vegetables first and then the chicken pot pie. I also ate some cheese and crackers and bread while making the vegetables.  I also started in on this blog because I wanted to feel I accomplished some more things I had been telling myself I wanted to do. Before burning the vegetables, I figured I would have some tonight and then save some for another night or bring some to work. Did I contemplate meal prep-why yes I did. Did I fail at meal prep-you bet. Is this exhibit A of why I don’t meal prep. Damnnnnn right. But maybe I’ll try again. I can make meals, but maybe I should actually follow some of Ina Garten’s recipes I have sitting next to my stove before I decide I’m her next protégée and start swinging from the pots and pans like I know what I’m doing.

So back to Valentine’s Day. This is how my days off tend to go. Avoid most responsibilities, treat yoself, remind myself of who I am. I noticed a lot of couples as I was out-especially at coffee shops, a little at the diner, etc. I figured I’d stay in for dinner because in all honesty I wasn’t quite sure how I’d feel being out on a night where couples are out in abundance. Granted this could easily be any night, but I figured I’d better be able to ride my wave of self love by staying in. I could soak it up, let it grow stronger. I usually don’t have time to cook, so a night off to give it a try was welcomed. And messing up for myself is waaaay less stressful than knowing someone else was also expecting dinner. So more practice for me until I have a bigger audience.

Oh, and the chicken pot pie is finally heated slash I got sick of waiting and decided it would be fine. It tastes great, so shout out to people who make dinner for people like me. Post dinner will be dessert-and cleaning up as I also finish this blog. Maybe a facemask and reading.  What I should do is some of that work I need to get to, and fold laundry. And just clean up more in general. My hoarder and lackadaisical tendencies are those things no one should live with. These are the adulting things I avoid all too well, and need to hold myself accountable to do better. Could blogging be a key to success? Guess we’ll have to keep going to find out.

Stay sassy!